Vinyl
by anathemawrites
Summary: I know too much. I know that those demons you think of aren't your vices, they're real and I've seen too many to believe. Drabbles and ficlets written to an iTunes on Shuffle.
1. one

**Vinyl**_  
Creeno_

* * *

_Fics written to my iTunes on shuffle. Angstier than I intended, but ohwell.  
_

* * *

**The Undeveloped Story – anberlin**

He moves forward, into college life. It's insanity of a different kind.

He switches salt and cats eyes for pens, pencils, notepads.

Guns for textbooks and coffee.

Survival instincts in the wild for survival instincts of people.

It's a different form of chaos, the life of a student, but one he can navigate far better.

* * *

**Come to Me – Björk**

He crawls into Dean's arms, late at night. Daddy doesn't know, he's gone again.

Dean lifts the covers and lets Sam curl into his side. He holds his brother and tells him stories of _the two brothers, one named Dean and the other Sammy, and they had adventures in a black ship named Impala and their Dad, well, he was even cooler._

Sam loves his brother, loves him more than he loves Daddy.

It worries him, a little bit.

But then Dean smiles and calls him _dope!_ when Daddy doesn't want to play and he doesn't mind so much.

* * *

**Highway (Under Construction) – Gorillaz**

He drives along the winding road, towards bright sunlight and beaches and babes.

He drives towards a lanky brother and his dream of apple pie and white picket fences and somehow, he smiles.

He smiles if only because of Sam and the possibility of him saying _yeah, I'll come home._

* * *

**There's More to Life than This – Björk**

Jessica laughs and moves back to the party, beer in hand. Sam suddenly feels as if he's in one of those small towns again.

It's a smoky bar, not a college hangout. There are no Halloween decorations, but Led Zep or maybe some hokey country guy is wailing over the speakers. Dean's playing darts and he's perched on a stool, looking up some litte myth. Dad comes back with greasy fries and it's them, their little dysfunctional family.

"Where you going?" shouts Jess over the music.

"Home," he replies, but it's not home, not really.

* * *

**Eastern Path – Vangelis**

He doesn't go west.

Never goes past Nevada, not for one, two, three years. Otherwise, he knows, he _knows_, he'll move past the hunt, go on and on until he reaches ocean air and Sammy.

He doesn't go west, just keeps his car going northsoutheast and lets others take up the hunt for him.

Dean just doesn't have the guts.

* * *

_I'll write some more when my brain isn't cooperating. _


	2. two

**Vinyl**_  
Creeno_

* * *

_Yey, more for you gaiz._

* * *

**Shine – Vienna Teng**

Things get better.

When all you have is the bottom, you have to go to the top.

Yeah, some days, Dean doesn't speak, doesn't eat, just lies listlessly in bed, tears running down his face.

Some days, Sam will wake up and Dean will be sitting in a freezing cold shower, unresponsive until Sam hauls him up.

And some days, Sam will get little presents of bundled flowers and drawings of their family or what Dean remembers of it.

Those days are the best days.

It reminds him why he goes through the other days, why Dean was worth saving.

* * *

**American Dream – Switchfoot**

He doesn't want this.

No manicured lawns, no expensive cars, no 2.5 kids.

He wanted the road, wanted his family, wanted to hunt.

Why couldn't Sam see that that was where he belonged?

* * *

**Ný batterí (**_new batteries_**) - Sigur Rós**

"It's like walking through _**gallons**_ and gallons of half-congealed blood."

"Blood?"

"Mm-hmm. Like you-you just open your mouth, suck in air and jump in. Only, it's slow and you can't really move forward. Ears stop up and all you can do is hear yourself breathe."

Sam leans back as his brother continues, describing how he climbed his way up and out, fingers moving erratically, stuttering now and then.

"How'd you do it?"

"What?" Sam is dragged back to the present as Dean stares at him intently.

"How'd you do it, swim through all that?"

Sam's tongue is suddenly stuck to the roof of his mouth. How can he tell Dean that he struggled through his own head, that Sam had to unwind thread and barbed wire from his body, lift him away from meathooks piercing his shoulder? How the hell does he begin to tell Dean that what he knows is just Sam's way of helping him without betraying what little trust he has?

Sam lies:

"I don't remember."

And Dean accepts it.

* * *

**Must Get Out – Maroon 5**

"It's nothing," Sam's smile lifts but doesn't reach his eyes. He takes the 'notes' and stuffs them in his folder, pecks her on the cheek and leaves.

Jess sinks into her bed, grasping her head in her hands.

What did she see?

_A werewolf--_

_--silver bullets--_

_--bite—_

Sam _says_ it's a joke. A hobby.

But Jessica has seen the salt on the windows, the doors. He thinks that she didn't see him mix salt with the paint, didn't see him look up the symbols meticulously before suggesting _these look pretty, let's put them here, above your bed_.

She wishes Sam could just tell the truth.

* * *

**Pneumonia – Björk**

"Sam, Sam, Sam," he tuts as he runs the meatsuit's fingers over the man's bloody forehead. He's sure, with that one hit, his father and brother should be critical, if not dead.

It was necessary, though. The boy just wouldn't embrace what came naturally.

"I'll be seeing you soon," he smiles, eyes glowing bright yellow before he turns and starts to run to the police car, feigning distress.


	3. three

**Vinyl**_  
Creeno_

* * *

**God Help the Outcasts – The Hunchback of Notre Dame OST **

He shuts the door and leans against it as the rain pounds down. Closes his eyes and breathes slowly, in and out, in and out.

He slides down on the cool floor and listens to the rain outside the little haven. Finally, he gets up and wobbling, makes his way inside. The place is rank of rotting wood and old, unwashed fabric. It's almost like a library, actually, he thinks as his wet fingers trail over the stacks of hymnals and bibles.

Shame.

Finally, he makes his way to the front pew and sits down, the creak echoing through the abandoned church. He clears his throat and says,

"Hey. Mary. It's me, John."

* * *

**Gravity – Vienna Teng**

It's not as if he'll stop, _can _stop caring for his brother. No matter what his father orders or how far Sam goes, he'll care. Keep caring.

It's constant, and sometimes(all the time, these days), it hurts.

But it's worth it.

* * *

**Comfortable – John Mayer**

Sam wakes in the mornings to Jessica curled up against his chest. Her hair's a mess and her nose makes this squeaking noise when she snores. Her feet are cold as ice against his thighs, but she makes up for it when she mouths that spot right on his neck in her sleep and holds on, even when he's in a nightmare. She always wakes up and lies with him, doesn't ask questions, just lets him be until he's ready to speak or not.

* * *

**Behind the Sea – Panic!At the Disco**

The preacher's forehead creases in confusion.

"Why don't you believe, son?"

And how does Dean say _well, preacher, I know too much. I know that those demons you think of aren't your vices, they're real and I've seen too many to believe_?

He just shakes his head and says, "I just lost faith."

* * *

_Review!_


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